More Life Lessons From My Husband

5. If something isn’t working correctly, you don’t need it anyway.
I have learned over the years that there are times when, in spite of our best efforts, neither my husband nor I is Bob Villa and This Old House is simply that. Occasionally we call in professionals to fix our problems, while other times a more immediate response is warranted.

My husband has taught me that if something isn’t working correctly, you don’t really need it anyway. Apparently, I was under the mistaken impression that there are some things worth fixing when they break. I guess I was wrong.

This life lesson developed after my dear husband decided to make me pancakes one morning. It was a fabulous, heartfelt gesture until the smell of acrid smoke and charred pancake started to permeate the first floor of our townhouse. Since we live in a delightful (cue the sarcasm) row of townhomes, for the time being, the smoke alarms are highly sensitive, lest we take down our neighbors in a blaze of glory.

Thus, after the high-pitched, incessant beeping began to make our eardrums bleed, we tried the age-old trick of waving a magazine in front of the detector. Just as it shut off, much to our delight, another one began. This commenced a vicious game of whack-a-mole between beeping smoke alarms. Even taking the battery out did not stop the bleating. While this was probably a necessary precaution against arson, it was nevertheless extraordinarily aggravating under the current circumstances.

With few options left and that obnoxious humming that usually only occurs after a loud concert filling our ears, my husband reached up and yanked the offending alarm right off of the ceiling. Needless to say, that stopped the noise. However, while it solved our immediate problem, we might run into a tiny predicament in the future when our lease is up or if perchance our neighbors set fire to their domicile. Yet, I did learn a valuable lesson about life from this experience. If something doesn’t work correctly, it’s apparently better not to use it at all.

6. It pays to know a lot of people
My husband is the epitome of a social butterfly. He makes friends everywhere he goes and knows people from all walks of life. It is impressive but sometimes this overt gregariousness and social involvement can be troublesome as we go out to eat and five people in the restaurant come over to talk or he feels the need to obsessively check his Facebook account with his millions of friends. I consider his desire to continuously beef up his friend numbers the equivalent to making him a Facebook whore. Nevertheless, his popularity has helped us out during at least one worthwhile occasion.

While leaving a Black Crowes concert late one night in Atlanta, GA, we discovered that one of the tires on my husband’s car had completely deflated. As the crowd dispersed rapidly and we had to return to Nashville that same night, we were in a huge bind and this was not an area of town in which anyone would aspire to get stranded. Apparently by law or sheer obnoxiousness, the police weren’t allowed to help with our predicament beyond the obligatory flashlight holding and snide comments. So, while my husband tossed tire irons in frustration, those sworn to protect and serve did neither.

So, we found ourselves in a shady part of downtown Atlanta at midnight, trying to change a tire. While we did receive many kind offers of assistance for the local homeless population strolling the streets like it was Dawn of the Dead, we insisted we were fine and kept working.

One of the neighborhood “locals” decided to just start helping anyway. Although he did try to read the directions, upside down, we did need another hand on deck. A few minutes later, when the man and my husband finally stopped to look up, it turned out that they actually knew each other. What are the odds that on this dark, deserted street far from Nashville, my husband would, of course, find a homeless man that he recognized from his volunteer work in the Music City? Fortunately, this man proved to be a great help and soon we were on our way again.

It just goes to show you that it pays to know and be nice to everyone that you meet because when you need help you, just never know who will show up.